We do not have to solve world peace to start practising it
Yesterday, I put a post on our community Facebook page for a friend who had to find a new home for her little dog, Teddy.
She asked me to post it because she was petrified people would abuse her. That fear tells us something about social media before the comments even begin.
The truth was more complicated and it was also private. My friend had waited nine months to find accommodation. When they finally found somewhere to live, their circumstances meant she could not take Teddy with them. The landlord had not refused him. They were not looking for an excuse to give him away. They were making a painful decision after running out of other options.
We cannot ask children to practise peace if we do not model it
None of that was in the Facebook post because nobody should have to publish the details of their private life to avoid being abused by strangers. People could have asked a question before deciding they knew the story.
Some did. They wanted information that could help Teddy find the right family:
- Is Teddy comfortable with children?
- Does he get along with other animals?
- Is he house trained?
- Is he leash trained?
- Is the yard fenced?
- Can a prospective family meet Teddy and his owner?
- Would a rescue organisation be able to help with the process?
One family said they were looking to adopt a dog and would like to meet him. Another person offered information about rescue organisations. Others tagged people who might be interested.
These comments moved the conversation forward. They gathered information, offered practical help and kept the focus on finding the right home for Teddy.
Then came the assumptions:
- The landlord cannot refuse a pet.
- The owner does not understand the rental laws.
- This must be an excuse to get rid of the dog.
- The owner should have found somewhere that accepted Teddy.
- I could not legally rehome somebody else’s dog.
The landlord had not refused Teddy. My friend was not asking me to rehome him. I had posted on their behalf because I belonged to the Facebook group and I cared enough about them and Teddy to cop any abuse. It was also a chance to prove my community was compassionate.
People had created an entire story from information they did not have.
The cruellest comment suggested my friend was using her rental accommodation as an excuse to get rid of a beautiful dog. That person knew nothing about her circumstances, how long she had waited for accommodation or the decisions she had faced. She filled every gap with the worst possible explanation.
A few days earlier, I had spent 95 minutes with almost 100 young people at the Cowra World Peace Day Youth Forum. We practised curiosity, creativity, collaboration and communication.
I showed them a picture of a cat, a mouse and a flea. Each saw the same situation differently. The cat, the mouse and the flea had different information, different concerns and a different view of what was happening.
Then they met Pickles. The students could not discover Pickles’ story by guessing. They had to ask questions, listen to the answers and use each answer to decide what to ask next.
I also showed them someone pushing into a tuckshop line. At first, the person looked rude and entitled. Then the students learned she was collecting a first-aid kit for someone who had been injured.
The picture had not changed. The information had.
The Facebook discussion about Teddy became the same lesson played out among adults.
Some people saw a gap in the information and asked a question. Others saw the same gap and inserted an accusation.
The people who asked questions helped. They learned more about Teddy, offered advice, found possible families and identified safer ways to manage the adoption. The people who made assumptions added distress to someone already going through a painful time.
Every conversation is a chance to practise peace
Curiosity would not have required a long conversation. One question could have changed everything:
“Can you tell us more about the circumstances?”
That question leaves room for an answer. An accusation closes the door before the person has spoken.
I keep wondering what those young people in Cowra will do the next time they see something that looks wrong. Will they decide they already know the whole story? Or will they remember the cat, the mouse and the flea, Pickles and the person pushing into the tuckshop line?
Will they ask another question before they judge?
After reading the comments about Teddy, I hope they do.






Tom Rowston had some pieces of gold information for me over lunch at the Happy Days cafe







