I write life stories. Here is one about a pair of mittens.

Most life stories are almost lost. They live in one person’s memory, in a few photographs, in a parcel kept in a drawer.

Every life carries small objects that hold whole histories inside them. A photograph. A letter. A pair of hand-knitted mittens. This is the story of one such object, and the journey it led to.

When I sat down with her, she brought out a parcel wrapped in brown paper and tied with string…

Inside was a body belt made from a flour bag, stitched into little pockets for a soldier’s belongings. A small Bible. A notebook and pencil. A cigarette case. Cigarette cards. And a pair of hand-knitted mittens.

The mittens had her grandfather’s initials embroidered on them.

She told me she had wondered about those mittens all her life. Had they come from home? From a Red Cross parcel? From some kind woman who would never know where they had ended up? Had Martin himself stitched those initials, sitting somewhere in Belgium, thinking of the wife and two little girls he had left behind?

Martin Henry Collins was a bombardier with the Australian Field Artillery. He was killed in action in Belgium on the 21st of September, 1917. He was twenty-seven years old.

He left behind a wife and two little girls. One of them grew up to be my client’s mother.

That parcel was almost all her mother had of him.

Her mother’s great wish, all her life, was to visit her father’s grave. But her health was poor, and the journey was beyond her. So her daughter promised that if her mother could not go, she would go for her.

In 1980, she made that journey.

She told me about arriving in the small Belgian town. About how quiet it was. About the British War Graves Commission directing them to a florist before driving them in an official car. About the endless rows of white headstones on either side of the road.

About finding her grandfather’s grave, with a small posy of wildflowers already laid on it, placed there by local schoolchildren who choose particular graves to care for.

She told me about the daily service at the Menin Gate. The town falling silent. The bugle sounding. The six thousand, one hundred and sixty names of Australians with no known grave, recorded on the walls.

And she told me about the long drive back to Brussels, thinking about what she had done. I had gone for her. I had stood where she had longed to stand. I had seen the grave of the father she never really knew.

She is in her eighties now. The parcel still exists. The mittens are still inside it. And until we sat down together, the story of the parcel, and the journey, and the schoolchildren laying flowers, lived only in her memory.

Now it is written down.

That is the part of this I value most.

A life carries hundreds of small moments like the mittens. A flour-bag belt. A grandfather’s initials. A promise made to a mother. A bugle at dusk. Most of those moments are never said aloud, let alone written down. They live in one person’s memory until that person is gone, and then they are gone too.

When I sit down with someone to write their life story, my role is to ask the questions that bring those moments to the surface, to listen carefully enough to hear which ones matter, and to put them on the page in language that does them justice.

I do this for older people who want their own story preserved for their grandchildren. I do it for families who want to capture a parent’s or grandparent’s story before it’s too late. I do it because these stories are the inheritance one generation gives to the next, and once they are written down, they are safe.

If there is someone in your life whose story you want preserved, I’d love to talk.

More at synergyscape.com.au/work-with-me

A Chilling Portrait of Power and Cruelty in Fred Trump’s Memoir

Whilst I didn’t find this book as compelling a Mary Trump’s “Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man”, Fred Trump’s memoir offers a haunting exploration of the power dynamics that can permeate a family, where loyalty is a one-way street, and love often takes a backseat to ambition and control.

The book is a frightening reminder of how power, when wielded without compassion, can fracture familial bonds and inflict lasting damage.

The most shocking parts of the book reveal a family where power is often used as a tool of control, even at the expense of basic human decency. One of the most jarring examples is the decision to cut off the family’s health insurance—a lifeline that had been in place since birth. Fred writes, “His message was that our medical insurance, the coverage my grandfather had provided to all his family members, the one I’d had since birth, the insurance that was now paying for my son William’s life-or-death care, was being cut off abruptly. What? Of all the cruel, low-down, vicious, heartless things my own relatives could do to me, my wife, and my children, this was worse than anything else I could possibly imagine.” The shock and betrayal are palpable, as Fred reflects on the cruelty that led to such a decision, especially when it concerned his infant son’s critical medical care: “How could anyone do something so cruel to someone they were related to? What could I have possibly done to cause something like this? If this wasn’t evil, I really couldn’t say what might qualify.”

The book also exposes the callousness with which Donald Trump approaches the challenges faced by others, particularly those with disabilities. During a conversation about the high costs of caring for profoundly disabled individuals, Donald chillingly remarks, “The shape they’re in, all the expenses, maybe those kinds of people should just die.” This statement, devoid of empathy, underscores a recurring theme in the book: the prioritisation of money and power over human life and dignity.

Finally, Fred’s memoir touches on the toxicity of the Trump name, which has become a burden rather than a badge of honour in many circles. He recounts how, after his uncle mocked a disabled reporter, the Trump name became synonymous with cruelty, making it difficult even to engage in charitable work: “The trouble accelerated in 2015 when he publicly mocked Serge Kovaleski, a New York Times reporter who had a disability called arthrogryposis. My uncle’s cruel gesture and comments got a deluge of media coverage, all of it negative, and generated understandable outrage among families, advocates, and decent people everywhere.”

Fred Trump’s memoir is not just a personal account; it is a broader commentary on how power dynamics within a family can be manipulated to control, marginalise, and even destroy. It is a chilling reminder that behind the public personas lies a family history rife with manipulation and cruelty, where the pursuit of power often comes at an unbearable cost.

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