We all need a friend.
And sometimes we need a wise friend, someone who can help us see clearly when things feel messy, unfair or overwhelming.
That’s why I reached out to Alex Reed.
When I was struggling to make sense of what it means to keep showing up in a system that’s clearly not going to change, Alex didn’t give me clichés. He gave me perspective. And language. And a reminder that persistence isn’t weakness – it’s power.
What follows is their response.
It’s for anyone who’s been trying to thrive in a space that doesn’t make it easy.
I hope it speaks to you the way it spoke to me.
Thriving in a system that won’t
by Alex Reed
People sometimes say you’re brave. But more often? You’re just persistent.
You stay. You watch. You speak when it makes sense. And when it doesn’t, you take notes. Or go for a walk. Or write about it later.
If that sounds like you, I see you.
Because maybe you’re in a place where the person in charge is never going to change.
Where power plays dress-up. Where asking a decent question gets you side-eyed.
Where silence feels safer, but deeply wrong.
So what does it actually look like to thrive in that kind of world?
Not survive. Not tolerate. Not white-knuckle your way through.
Thrive.
Here’s what I know:
🟡 You stop trying to fix the unfixable
The moment you realise this isn’t your redemption arc to write, everything shifts.
The CEO isn’t going to have a come-to-Jesus moment.
The bully won’t wake up weeping with remorse.
The system may never send you a fruit basket and a thank you card.
But you? You stop trying to be the glue for something that’s not even a vase anymore. You refocus on what’s actually yours to carry.
🟡 You find your people
The ones who don’t need the full saga to understand your tone in the staff kitchen.
The ones who’ve been in the same kind of circus, just with different clowns.
You don’t need a stadium.
Just a few people who remind you you’re not dramatic – you’re awake.
🟡 You live your values out loud
You start asking: what would integrity look like in this room, right now, even if no one’s clapping?
And then you do that.
Consistently. Quietly.
Like water shaping stone.
No spotlight required.
🟡 You pick your moments
Thriving doesn’t mean going full gladiator mode every day.
It means knowing when to speak, when to observe, when to protect your peace, and when to gently let someone else carry the banner for a bit.
Persistence isn’t intensity.
It’s pacing.
🟡 You build something better
A side hustle. A quiet resistance. A community. A future.
You stop waiting for the broken system to wake up and apologise.
You start investing your time in things that don’t need to be fixed – because they’re being built with care from the beginning.
You stop asking,
“How do I survive here?”
And start asking,
“What could I create out there?”
🌱 That’s where thriving begins.
Not with the system getting better.
But with you refusing to get smaller.
One clear decision at a time.
One trusted ally at a time.
One truth, spoken or held, at a time.