Tag: psychological safety

Thriving in a system that won’t

We all need a friend.
And sometimes we need a wise friend, someone who can help us see clearly when things feel messy, unfair or overwhelming.

That’s why I reached out to Alex Reed.

When I was struggling to make sense of what it means to keep showing up in a system that’s clearly not going to change, Alex didn’t give me clichés. He gave me perspective. And language. And a reminder that persistence isn’t weakness – it’s power.

What follows is their response.
It’s for anyone who’s been trying to thrive in a space that doesn’t make it easy.

I hope it speaks to you the way it spoke to me.

Thriving in a system that won’t

by Alex Reed

People sometimes say you’re brave. But more often? You’re just persistent.

You stay. You watch. You speak when it makes sense. And when it doesn’t, you take notes. Or go for a walk. Or write about it later.

If that sounds like you, I see you.
Because maybe you’re in a place where the person in charge is never going to change.
Where power plays dress-up. Where asking a decent question gets you side-eyed.
Where silence feels safer, but deeply wrong.

So what does it actually look like to thrive in that kind of world?

Not survive. Not tolerate. Not white-knuckle your way through.
Thrive.

Here’s what I know:

🟡 You stop trying to fix the unfixable
The moment you realise this isn’t your redemption arc to write, everything shifts.
The CEO isn’t going to have a come-to-Jesus moment.
The bully won’t wake up weeping with remorse.
The system may never send you a fruit basket and a thank you card.

But you? You stop trying to be the glue for something that’s not even a vase anymore. You refocus on what’s actually yours to carry.

🟡 You find your people
The ones who don’t need the full saga to understand your tone in the staff kitchen.
The ones who’ve been in the same kind of circus, just with different clowns.

You don’t need a stadium.
Just a few people who remind you you’re not dramatic – you’re awake.

🟡 You live your values out loud
You start asking: what would integrity look like in this room, right now, even if no one’s clapping?

And then you do that.
Consistently. Quietly.
Like water shaping stone.
No spotlight required.

🟡 You pick your moments
Thriving doesn’t mean going full gladiator mode every day.
It means knowing when to speak, when to observe, when to protect your peace, and when to gently let someone else carry the banner for a bit.

Persistence isn’t intensity.
It’s pacing.

🟡 You build something better
A side hustle. A quiet resistance. A community. A future.

You stop waiting for the broken system to wake up and apologise.
You start investing your time in things that don’t need to be fixed – because they’re being built with care from the beginning.

You stop asking,
“How do I survive here?”
And start asking,
“What could I create out there?”

🌱 That’s where thriving begins.

Not with the system getting better.
But with you refusing to get smaller.

One clear decision at a time.
One trusted ally at a time.
One truth, spoken or held, at a time.

In the Shadows of Envy Exploiters Coveting the Lives of Narcissists’ Victims

 

The journey towards recovery from narcissistic abuse is laden with hurdles, including the potential for further exploitation by those envious of the life you once led.

Within the complex aftermath of narcissistic abuse, a particularly intricate dynamic can unfold. This occurs when an individual, having long lingered in the victim’s shadow, perceives the vulnerability wrought by the narcissist’s maltreatment not simply as an opportunity for exploitation, but as a chance to claim the life the victim once led—desiring everything the victim had that they themselves lacked. This blog post delves into the psychology behind such exploitation, offering insights on recognising and safeguarding oneself against these predatory ambitions.

Deciphering the Underlying Psychology

Individuals poised to exploit a narcissist’s victim in this manner often harbour deep-seated envy and resentment. They have observed the victim’s life from a distance, yearning for their accomplishments, relationships, or status. When the narcissist undermines the victim, the exploiter views it as an opportunity to fill the void, to seize the life and identity that once belonged to the victim.

Identifying the Warning Signs

  1. Excessive Curiosity: The exploiter exhibits a keen interest in the victim’s life, surpassing the bounds of normal friendship or concern, often probing into their relationships, financial matters, or personal triumphs.
  2. Mimetic Behaviour: They may begin to emulate the victim’s lifestyle, decisions, and even their mannerisms, striving to align themselves more closely with what they perceive as the victim’s advantages.
  3. Tactics of Isolation: Echoing the narcissist’s strategies, the exploiter attempts to further isolate the victim, not only from their support networks but also from the elements of their life that provided identity and strength.
  4. Belittling Achievements: The exploiter might subtly dismiss the victim’s achievements or diminish their capabilities, seeking to degrade their self-esteem and affirm their own ascendancy.

Strategies for Self-Protection

  1. Firm Boundaries: Establishing and upholding strict personal boundaries is essential. Exercise caution in divulging personal information to someone demonstrating an unnatural interest in your life.
  2. Solidifying Your Identity: Dedicate time to reaffirming your own identity and value, independent of your possessions or others’ perceptions. Your worth is intrinsic, not contingent on material aspects.
  3. Securing Genuine Support: Foster a support network comprising friends, family, and professionals who value you for your true self, not for what you possess or what they might gain from you.
  4. Heeding Your Intuition: Should you sense that someone’s interest in your life is fuelled by their own aspirations rather than genuine concern, trust that intuition. Caution is preferable to regret.
  5. Professional Advice: If extricating yourself from an exploitative relationship proves challenging, or if you’re uncertain about someone’s motives, seeking a professional therapist or counsellor’s advice is advisable.

The journey towards recovery from narcissistic abuse is laden with hurdles, including the potential for further exploitation by those envious of the life you once led. Recognising the indicators of such exploitation and implementing measures to protect oneself are vital steps in navigating this convoluted path. Remember, true recovery and empowerment emanate from within, not from the validation or acceptance of others. Your path is uniquely yours, and no individual has the right to co-opt your story for their personal advantage.

#RecoveryFromNarcissisticAbuse #SafeguardYourEnergy #SettingBoundaries #ReclaimingYourLife #EmotionalProtection #IdentityStrength #BewareOfEnvy

This is a guest post by Alex Reed. 

Alex is a passionate mental health advocate who uses their writing to bridge the gap between clinical psychology and everyday experiences.  Alex offers insights, advice, and comfort to those seeking understanding and solidarity. Alex believes in the power of shared stories to inspire healing and growth.

Agriculture creating a culture where people feel physically, emotionally and identity safe

This is the fifth article in a series that looks at the Action4Youth workforce Attract-Train-Retain workforce strategy and road map  model created by the Action4Agriculture team in partnership with Professor Felicity Blackstock. 

The model acknowledges careers’ awareness starts in primary school and leverages the relationships that Action4Agriculture’s school programs have developed with schools over the past 15 years

It was rewarding to see the announcement yesterday that the cotton industry is increasing its investment in understanding people and how they think, feel and behave.  

One of the key elements of the Action4Youth model is the pastoral care package.  If agriculture is going to Attract, Train and RETAIN people, they must feel physically, emotionally and identity safe in their workplaces

The graphics shown above have been created for a program aimed at attracting young people who are disengaged from school to the foundation careers on farm/in the oceans for the dairy, fishing and wool industries

It can be adapted, replicated and scaled (or shrunk) for all industries.

Interestingly enough that is where it is getting the most traction. There are no shortage of industries with dollars to invest in best practice workforce engagement strategies that don’t have what agriculture has.

The question is are we making the most of what we have?

Agriculture is not alone in having a huge labour shortage.

With Australia’s  birthrate at its lowest ever level of 1.6 (more people choosing career over having children) and reduced accessed to overseas workers we are going to have to be very committed to building and investing in relationship building with the next gen workforce. We have to be equally committed to agriculture being the image we want the world to see.

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