Turning the anti-bullying conversation around

You can find this poster here

When we use the word anti-bullying, we are articulating what we don’t want. So in this instance I ask the question … what do we want?

The counter position to bullying is lost in the current conversations, which is the opportunity to recognise preferred behaviour.

It’s easy to be against and say no .. more difficult to be for and say yes
May be it’s time we got clear and created a turnaround in the conversation?

This above quote is an extract of a comment from reader Andrew on my post Is the Mean Mob Mentality Out Of Control. See footnote

I am confident we will all agree that Andrew makes a very valid point

When you Google ‘Modelling Anti-Bullying Behaviour’ Google Scholar offers a plethora of articles

Social science research tells us if we craft the message that signals preferred behaviour we get preferred behaviour.

Using an example I saw at boys school I visited in 2016. The sign in the foyer said “65% of men and boys interviewed think domestic violence occurs”

The social scientists tell us this sign models negative behaviour. The ideal sign would say “100% of men think domestic violence is wrong.”

Clearly the image at the top of the post is a great example of modelling preferred behaviour. See article here

Love other readers thoughts on how we rise to challenge that Andrew has posed

Footnote

Andrew’s comment on the original blog

Where I’m coming from is contrarian to many, so please read to the end.
This is not a criticism of what’s happening in general or the posts and comments here.

In grappling with the issue we are faced with in relation to personal attacks in social and mainstream media we need to call out bullying for what it is, and those carrying out that behaviour need to be held to account.

At this time I’m reminded of Sister Teresa of Calcutta.
She was asked to attend an “anti-war” rally, where the proponents would have obviously used her presence to leverage the PR.
Sister Teresa’s response was if you can explain to me what you are for, I’ll consider it.

When we use the word anti-bullying, we are articulating what we don’t want. So in this instance I ask the question … what do we want?

Using Sister Teresa’s framework … if we are anti bullying, what are we for?

The counter position to bullying is lost in the current conversations, which is the opportunity to recognise preferred behaviour.

We know what we don’t want but, have difficulty articulating what we do want.
When training dogs, we reward positive behaviour for the obvious reason, with young children we do the same when it comes to behaviours. Or we should.

So what behaviour do we wish to recognise as it applies to social and mainstream media behaviour?
It’s easy to be against and say no .. more difficult to be for and say yes
May be it’s time we got clear and created a turnaround in the conversation?

Is Farmers for Climate Action the new leadership model for Agriculture?

As a founding member and ambassador for Farmers for Climate Action I find the movement and its farmers awe-inspiring for so many reasons and ask is it the new model for leadership in agriculture?

It is a movement set up by farmers for farmers and its kicking goal after goal showing that Australian Farmers

Are taking climate action
Can work effectively with diverse groups including groups farmers traditionally felt were antagonists
Can effectively form a powerful lobby movement
Have powerful philanthropic support
Have community support
Can attract outside industry support funding partners
Can effectively develop and deliver NGO campaigns in a style like Getup
Can effectively crowdfund for projects that match their values
Can get the politicians to sit up and listen and converse and act
can work collaboratively and collectively together

_2017 Landcare Conference Lynne Strong 16_9 _Page_01

Farmers for Climate Action – The Why

WHAT DO WE STAND FOR

Farmers for Climate Action is an inclusive movement driven by farmers, for farmers calling for immediate action on climate change and supporting on-farm adaptation and mitigation to ensure a positive future for generations of Australian farmers.

We are committed to working with farmers from all across Australia to communicate issues relating to climate change.

We are supporting farmers to be part of the solution to climate change through climate-smart farming practices. We recognize that many farmers are already leading the way.

We are actively advocating for more targeted research, development, extension and adoption to support farmers in successfully adapting to changing climatic conditions.

We are strongly advocating for immediate action on climate change at local, state and federal levels and working with our communities to ensure farmers have a strong voice on climate change.

We are calling on a rapid transformation of Australia’s energy system away from fossil fuels and towards renewable energy in a way that maximizes benefits to farmers and regional communities.

We recognise that climate solutions can provide huge benefits for regional Australia, helping revitalise our communities.

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Yes indeed the forward thinking “we are all in this together” model for a bright and flourish agriculture sector in Australia

Agriculture moving to an new era of celebration not commiseration

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The last five years have been the most difficult and the best times on my life’s journey

What people see on the outside is very different to the inner me and this can be exhausting. It has affected my health and I seem to bounce from one health issue to another.

Thanks to the people I have surrounded myself with, I know celebrating both the successes and the tough times make us into the person we were meant to be.

I often get asked in interviews what success looks like to me.

Two things recently stood out for me

The first came from travelling around with The Archibull Prize artwork judge and seeing the magnificent Archies the students had created, how much they had learnt about the world of agriculture and the appreciation they had gained of our farmers. It was so empowering to witness the success of a program that has gone from strength to strength

What seemed like a straightforward concept at the outset has become a trigger for so much growth and contribution

It lights the fire, then those participants, once sparked, seem to carry their own torch. The Young Farming Champions are all shining examples of this

The second came from two conversations I had in the last week. The first person had been part of a round table conversation with many indigenous Australians. She came away feeling so down, listening to so many stories of bitterness and pain

The second person had recently been to a rural women’s gathering where the take home message for her was “people in the cities have no idea how tough we have it in the bush” She said surely, they know there are many people in cities who are doing it just as tough. She too felt so disempowered. She emailed me to thank me for the opportunity to work with our programs and be in a positive bubble. She finished her email with “Let’s celebrate not commiserate”

When I first started my advocacy journey I too shared tales of gloom and doom. I found it repelled people rather than mobilised their support.

You are a product of the people you surround yourself with. I feel so blessed that in the last five years so many wonderful people have supported me to understand and embrace the power of positivity.

As Anthony Robbins wisely said, “the past does not equal the future” Success lies in loving yourself first. Only in this way can you help empower others to do the same and be part of a movement driving the change you want to see for your tribe.

With a slight tweak to a poem by Dale Wimbrow 1895-1954

The Girl in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

And the world makes you Queen for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

And see what that girl has to say.

For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or partner

Who judgement upon you must pass.

The girl whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the girl staring back from the glass?

She is person to please, never mind all the rest,

For she’s with you clear up to the end,

And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the girl in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum,

And think you’re a wonderful girl.,

But the women in the glass says you’re only a bum

If you can’t look her straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you’ve cheated the girl in the glass.

Success for any cohort of people trying to drive change for their mob lies in empowering others to support you.

For agriculture and indigenous people, it will take courage. It means taking risks.

It means putting aside differences and finding commonalities.

I have found young people do this naturally: they seek connection not division.

While we teach and encourage we can also learn.

Next time you are faced with a complex challenge, don’t go it alone. Reach out and seek a collaborative, collective solution.

Next time you feel concerned about the future of your tribe, think – how can I support young people to lead the way?

Encourage them to tell their stories, to step up and do a leadership program, to become the voice for the future of the sector

Because they do make a difference.

Imagine if we pooled ideas, resources, and skills across our tribes and communities?

It is an absolute bonanza of opportunity.

Similiar Love Power Of Positivity Quotes Keywords regarding Power Of Positivity Quotes

Mental health – making hope the cornerstone of life

I live in a very beautiful part of the world on a farm on the side of a mountain with rich volcanic soil and an average rainfall of 2000 mm. Yes that’s almost 80 inches of rain per year. With Australia experiencing the driest and warmest winter in 15 years we haven’t had “real’ rain here for months. We are in the midst of a green drought as the highly moisture stressed ryegrass does its best to hang on and provide the cows with the rich energy source that sustains them and the milk they produce.

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My little piece of paradise hasn’t looked like this for quite a while

Rural Australian life is very rewarding in many ways, however, farming has many challenges including the long term impacts of climate change and extreme weather events and can be a stressful occupation.

Mental health and maintaining optimism in the face of adversity is very close to my heart

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” Helen Keller

I believe through The Archibull Prize we are selling hope to young people. Putting them at the centre of the learning experience . Using farmers as examples of dealing with the daily challenges of providing quality food and fibre and Young Farming Champions as leaders in creating the change we want to see.

Helping young people make ‘hope’ a cornerstone in their lives is the driving force behind The Cottage Mental Health program

Archie at the Cottage

The Cottage helps about forty, 12 to 18-year-olds experiencing a mental health condition every year. Days are split between schooling and therapy, with counselling, rehabilitation, creative arts sessions, education and individual clinical management on offer to help students achieve their recovery goals. Source

Well done to all the business who have come together to make The Cottage a true story

of hope

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” Robert Schuller

If you know some-one who is struggling with stress an excellent resource can be found here

Do our politicians care about us?

Its pretty easy to think about the world and be cynical. I know at my age I can certainly write a list of the people who have let me down.

But we all know selling despair, ruminating on the people you wished hadn’t crossed your path and on what could have been gets us nowhere. On the other hand selling hope and focusing on a bright future by engaging and working with the people who share your vision keeps the fire burning in our bellies

I keep the fire burning in my belly by surrounding myself with exciting young people. Young people in schools, young farmers and young activists for social and environmental justice .

Last Friday night I attended the NSW ACT Young Achiever Awards to support Young Farming Champions Anika Molesworth and Joshua Gilbert who were both finalists in the Environment and Sustainability Category

Anika Molesworth

Anika Molesworth Winner of the Environment and Sustainability Award

Millennials and the generation before them don’t exactly get the best wrap and are often described as self absorbed . Reading the bios of the finalists in all categories certainly drew everyone’s attention to a group of young people and their support networks who are turning the self absorbed label on its head.

Why theses young people do what they do and how they do it is both fascinating and inspiring. Last year’s winner in the opening speech said something that gave me food for serious reflection. This young lady is a very passionate member of AYCC who lobbied their peers to sign up and vote at the last election. She quoted some phenomenal numbers as a testimony to their success.

She expressed her motivation by saying something along the lines of “politicians don’t care about young people and young people don’t care about politicians”. She went on to say part of the mission of AYCC is to show young people how important it is to care about politicians and what they do and don’t stand for and to vote for the one’s that align with their values

Do politicians care about young people.? Do they care about us? I think they do but I can certainly understand why people in general wonder what they do stand for. How do we fix a system where it appears that too many of our politicians only care about the needs of big business and the powerful people and not enough about the quality of life and well being of everyday Australians?.

AYCC have got it right. It’s up to everyday Australians to hold our politicians accountable and that starts with making sure we have the right politicians in office and support fiercely the one’s who align with our values.

Congratulations to Anika Molesworth, a fierce campaigner for #youthinag and the viability and resilience of Australian farmers and social and environmental justice

Anika’s acceptance speech – its easy to see why she is in demand as a keynote speaker

Leadership is not for the faint of heart

Over the years I have written a number of posts on leadership and from the robust discussions that followed the vocal majority in agriculture seem to prefer the notion leaders are born not made.

I am currently attending a number of courses/events that pitch themselves as Leadership Courses

It will be hard for them to trump one of the best experiences of my life yesterday which was attending (with 1500 other people ) the Simon Sinek “Start with Why” Leadership forum .

As Simon quite rightly shared with us

“how can we aspire to be a leader when we cant all agree what leadership is?”

Donna Digby who bought 18 women in the agriculture sector a combined 20,000 km to Melbourne to hear their hero Simon speak is the perfect example of the definition of leadership Simon promotes.

awia-ladies-at-simon-sinek-leadership-forum

As the motivational speaker and author explained, it really boils down to three things: selflessness, empathy, and an ability to manage anxiety on your team. Here is a look at each trait, and why it is so valuable for you to cultivate.

1. Selflessness

People like to be around people they trust–it’s as simple as that. “Humans are constantly assessing people and organizations around them, and if they feel they’re selfish, they’ll keep a safe distance,” said Sinek. On the other hand, people tend to want to associate with people and brands characterised by an element of selflessness. Creating that human connection–building trust-is key, though it does take time. Just remember: You’re responsible for setting that tone, Sinek warned. “When the environment is one of a leader who [will] sacrifice, the way people respond is by sacrificing in return. Being a leader is a lifestyle decision; it means you’re willing to take care of others.”

2. Empathy

Speaking of taking care of others, Sinek added, “the more we do good for each other, the more we want to do good for each other.” He recounted the time he picked up loose papers for a man when he saw them slip out of his bag. The man was grateful, but Sinek said his actions went further than that. They motivated someone who saw them to do something kind. Kindness begets kindness, Sinek went on. It’s holding the door for someone, making a new pot of coffee, and letting someone into your lane. Putting others ahead of yourself-“that is the practice of leadership,” he said.

3. Grace under fire

Stress and anxiety are enough to make people dishonest and to sabotage their performance at work. When your body is flooded with cortisol, or the chemical that produces anxiety, “you biologically restrict empathy and trust,” Sinek said. Don’t be that kind of boss–if you’re the one inducing fear and anxiety in your employees, you’re never going to have their trust. The solution is clear: Work on managing your own stress and “be the leader you wish you had,” he said. Your team will appreciate it. Source

Simon compared being a leader to being a parent.

‘You accept the responsibility for the growth of another human being, often making many thankless sacrifices. Leadership is a hard gig and its not for the faint of heart.’

Wonderful #sketchnote summary of Simon’s talk by the very talented Matthew Magain

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As I watch a lot of the current nastiness on Twitter particularly in the dairy industry I am so saddened to see far too many people creating a toxic environment where people don’t feel safe and the bullies rule. Its time for us all to become leaders and see our role as nurturers of others and get our buzz not from the hurt generated but take pride in the growth and confidence building of others. Its time to get high on watching others thrive

The TED talk that made Simon a legend

Young people in agriculture lobby for action on stuff that matters to them

I am a very different person to the person I was when I began my mission ten years ago to have my fellow farmers proud and loud of what they do and the industries they produce food and food and fibre for

I credit that change in the way I think and act to the young people I have met on my journey

I sell hope, they sell hope, together we have started a movement to create a new era of communication and transparency from the agricultural sector between farmers and the community. This allows farmers to raise awareness of the challenges they face to provide Australian families with safe, affordable and healthy food now and in the future.

Our programs and activities open the door for the community to ask questions and receive answers to questions on stuff that matters to them.

We do this because deep down our farmers feel unloved loved and undervalued. Our programs and activities provide matchmaking opportunities – a dating service if you like for farmers to connect with, and partner with the people in the community who love and appreciate them and people in the community who will love and appreciate them when they meet them

We do this by

designing and delivering events and activities through partnerships between young people in the agriculture sector and young people in schools using art and technology and two way conversations.
building capacity and the confidence of young people in the agriculture sector to share their story and deploy them using innovative vehicles such as The Archibull Prize to deliver agriculture’s key messages in a way that resonates with the audiences they reach with the mantra “People don’t care what you know until they know you care”

Whilst I am very proud of this legacy, deep down its these young people that light my fire. On their journey they have developed the confidence and courage to share their story and lobby for action on stuff that matters to them

Let me introduce to Anika Molesworth and Kirsty McCormack – two young women in agriculture with a high profile in the media blazing a trail for us all

Farmers believe in climate change, so why don’t the politicians who say they represent them?

“Anyone sitting in Parliament saying they represent rural and regional Australia should be figuring out how the decisions they make today are going to determine whether our farms are profitable in the years to come.”

“If we want something done about this then we need to do more than whisper across the back fence. It’s time to start shouting, and if our politicians fail to listen and catch up with the times then they risk being left behind.” Anika Molesworth

Social Media for the future

“We’re a generation who don’t want to sit down and read facts and figures, we want to hear from individual people, and hear their stories,” Kirsty McCormack

#youthinag #stuffthatmatters #YFC #ArchiullPrize

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.

The characteristic I most admire in people is courage.

Last week I attended the Australian Geographic Awards with Josh Gilbert’s family and partner. If ever there was an award’s event that celebrates courage, it’s the Australian Geographic Awards.

Yesterday I was reminded how lucky I am to be surrounded by so many courageous young people

Firstly there was this testimonial for Young Farming Champion Dee George. I know how much this will mean to Dee (you are a true champion Dee)

And there was this entry in The Archibull Prize based on the ethos of the Dr Suess book The Lorax. After 4 weeks on the road with the art judge videoing the students it had got to the stage where I was queen of the bloopers and struggling to turn the record button on and off at the right time.

What does all this have to do with Josh. Well Josh is like The Lorax

I love his sense of right and wrong.

I love that he recognizes the need to speak for those who have no voice.

I love that he sees the beauty of an unspoiled forest.

I love that he’s willing to stand up for what he believes in, even when it is the unpopular opinion.

But most of all, I love that he maintains a hope for the future, even when it seems so dismal.

And I love that he not only believes that one person can change the world, but like all the Young Farming Champions he puts his heart and soul into being part of a movement that empowers them to do so.

I videoed his presentation and his speech. It was a very courageous moment

Finding your WHY is vital

Changemakers fascinate me. People who wake up everyday and want to change the world or at the very least their part of the world.

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I am particularly fascinated by young changemakers or as they call themselves ‘disruptors’. Young people who are being a revolutionary – spotting something that needs to change and not being afraid to turn things upside down in order to achieve it.

Yesterday I got an opportunity to sit in on a roundtable in Canberra consisting of some of Australia’s most engaged young changemakers in the sustainability space.

The exercise that they did that blew my mind involved mapping their personal and professional development journey.

Identifying the moments in time.

The:

inspiration points
pivot points

Identifying the key people on the the journey.

The:

champions
mentors
critics/naysayers
connectors

These young people were all under 35. They all had a strong community spirit and involvement in community from a very young age. Many identified being inspired by a guest speaker at their school. They all viewed life as an opportunity to grab with both hands. And they had all changed the world. The world was a better place because they were in it

One thing that resonated with me was the impact of the political landscape on many of these young people. Young changemakers choosing career pathways based on who was leading our country at the time. Too often it was lack of inspiration from the top of the political tree being the pivot point in their journey.

Yesterday was definitely one of the highlights of my life – thank you #YoungAustralians committed to a #brighterfuture

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Speaking up, burning bridges and the point of no return

I thought I would share leadership guru Zoe Routh’s newsletter with you today. As a person who does speak up but has often has found themselves at the ‘point of no return’ I do admire people who can both speak up and drive change without burning their bridges.

Looking forward to getting that balance myself but then again

Burning-bridges.

Why Don’t We Speak Up?

“What do you think, Zoë?”

Holy crap. This was it. I had to say something.

My colleague had just thrown me a bone in a meeting. He knew I was peeved about the contract and was quietly stewing in frustration.

And not saying anything.

It was only when he set me up directly that I sat up, and spoke up.

It wasn’t easy. I got emotional. Apparently I cared more than I thought. And I felt better for it afterwards.

Speaking the truth always feels better. Eventually.

So why don’t we speak up? Why do we keep quiet when we’ve got something to say? An opinion to express, an idea to share, a criticism to make, a concern to raise?

Here are some reasons I’ve found in my own life, and work with my clients:

We don’t want to hurt people’s feelings.

We don’t want to rock the boat and risk our status in the group.

We’re afraid we’ll go past the point of no return and the unknown looms as a menacing void.

We’re afraid of the can of worms that might be unleashed, and we don’t like conflict.

We’re afraid we’ll be judged. Or rejected. Or hurt. Or dismissed.

In essence, we’re afraid of feeling bad.

So we shut down, shut up, and shrink.

And that’s the worst kind of feeling bad.

When we don’t speak our truth, our soul wilts a little, our heart grows a little more brittle, and the emotional pot goes on simmer.

Not speaking our truth is the worst kind of personal damage we can do to ourselves. It’s the deepest form of pain. So we numb it with alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, overwork, over exercise, food, or any other kind of distraction that keeps us from feeling into the depths of our inner world.

But when we do speak up, when we share what is going on in our heart, on the other side of the unknown mess that may ensue, we have a chance of a bigger horizon. We show ourselves and others that we matter, that we are worthy, that the stories we tell ourselves, even if they are wrong, matter. They matter because they help us connect better to ourselves and each other.

In Rising Strong, Brené Brown says, “I believe that vulnerability – the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome – is the only path to more love, belonging, and joy.”

The equation looks like this:

Truth – – – MESS – – – Feel better.

Speaking up is a leadership moment that matters. It can rattle cages, upset the apple cart, ruffle feathers, and every other metaphor for sh*tstorm, but speaking the truth is the song of the soul.

What helps is having a tether to our values and the willingness to walk in integrity. I have an intention that I want to model what I teach others, to embody what I know to be true, no matter how challenging.

So when my colleague looked to me and asked, “What do you think?” I took a deep breath, and spoke.

What calls you to speak the truth? What keeps you from speaking it? And what, if anything, will you change?

Zoe Routh

p.s. Don’t forget to register for the Grace Under Fire webinar series that starts next Wednesday. Register here: http://innercompass.com.au/grace-fire-webinar-series/