Tag: Drama Triangle

We don’t need a hero. We need collaborative leadership.

Most of my recent writing has focused on the Kiama Council Section 7.11 development contributions issue “How Kiama lost $970,000 in developer contributions and no one explained why”

Today I’m stepping slightly to the side, not away, to show how that issue fits into a broader pattern. Because what’s happening with Section 7.11 is not an isolated event. It is a symptom of a deeper cultural problem in how Kiama Council handles complexity, conflict and community trust.

These moments of tension, whether it is development contributions or surf club leases, often follow the same script. And the script is familiar to anyone who has studied leadership dynamics or conflict psychology.

The Gerringong Surf Life Saving Club issue in the Kiama local government area has become a textbook example of the Karpman Drama Triangle. A well-intentioned community concern has been turned into a stage production. The roles are locked in. The hero has claimed their spotlight. The victim is entrenched. And the villains? They shift by the day.

The moment someone questions the process or raises a legitimate concern, they are quickly cast in that villain role. Not because they are wrong, but because they interrupt the script. We have seen this dynamic before. And we will keep seeing it if we do not name it for what it is.

This is not about surf clubs. This is about how we lead.

At the last Kiama Council meeting, Councillor Imogen Draisma supported Motion 20.1 relating to the Gerringong Surf Life Saving Club. It was an emotionally charged moment, and like many, she likely acted with good intent.

But the motion itself was deeply complex. It involved land classification, leasing laws, native title implications and long-term planning risks, issues that most people in the Kiama local government area have not been given the time or information to fully understand.

Now, that decision has resulted in her integrity being questioned in state parliament.

This is exactly what happens when we let the Drama Triangle run the show. Someone is cast as the hero. Someone becomes the victim. And someone else gets labelled the villain, often unfairly.

It stops being about good governance. It becomes performance.

And good people become collateral damage.

More and more, the front and centre issues in the Kiama local government area are being played out through this lens, public theatre that pulls us into binary roles and distracts us from the real work of governance. The Section 7.11 development contributions issue is another clear example. Rather than work through complexity, we are fed simplified narratives that cast people as saviours or saboteurs.

It is too easy to get caught in it. The Drama Triangle has a gravity of its own. One person steps in to save the day. Another is painted as the problem. The community becomes the audience, applauding the performance but not always understanding what is at stake backstage.

But it does not have to be this way.

What if we stepped outside the triangle?
What if we paused before playing out the roles handed to us?
What if we chose something different?

In the Kiama local government area, we have the opportunity to lead in a more collaborative way. To slow down. To listen. To ask better questions. And to remind ourselves that not every story needs a hero, a victim and a villain.

Sometimes it just needs a group of people willing to work together, with honesty and respect, to get to the heart of the matter.

Let’s try more of that.

#Kiama #KiamaCouncil #LocalGovernment #LeadershipMatters #CollaborativeLeadership #CommunityTrust #DramaTriangle #PublicEngagement #Section711 #GerringongSLSC

Insights from High-Level Executives on Recognising Toxic Workplaces

In 2023, I commissioned Campus Consultancy to produce two e-books with a clear purpose: to support young people entering the workforce and to guide employers in nurturing young talent. The titles, How to Be the Employee Everybody Wants to Work With and How to Be the Employer Everybody Wants to Work For, are more than just catchy phrases. They embody a mission to foster a GREAT PLACE TO WORK culture from the outset of one’s professional journey.

How to Be the Employee Everybody Wants to Work With and How to Be the Employer Everybody Wants to Work For

This week, I had the privilege of gathering a group of seasoned executives, each with years of experience navigating the complex currents of the corporate world. Our focus? To distill their hard-earned wisdom into our next project. The discussion was sharp, the insights illuminating, but one theme eclipsed all others: The Secret to Thriving at Work: What They Wish They’d Told You.

The consensus was unequivocal: Learn how to recognise a toxic workplace. These executives, hardened by experience, underscored the importance of understanding the Drama Triangle and spotting the Machiavellian tendencies that so often fuel it. Their advice was blunt and to the point—get out of these environments fast.

The Drama Triangle, a concept developed by Stephen Karpman, maps out the roles people tend to fall into during conflict or high-stress situations: the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Rescuer.

  • Victim: The one who feels oppressed, helpless, and powerless. This person often believes they have no control over their situation and seeks out someone to save them.
  • Persecutor: The critic, the blamer. The Persecutor asserts control or dominance, typically in a harsh or judgmental manner, reinforcing the Victim’s sense of helplessness.
  • Rescuer: The hero, or so it seems. The Rescuer steps in to save the Victim, but in doing so, they often reinforce the Victim’s dependency, keeping the toxic cycle alive.

This triangle is particularly poisonous in the workplace, where it can breed a culture of dependency, blame, and conflict. Recognising when you or others are slipping into these roles is the first step to breaking the cycle and cultivating a healthier, more productive work environment.

The shadow of Machiavelli looms large over the workplace, not just as a historical figure, but as a symbol of a certain personality type—one characterised by manipulation, deceit, and a relentless focus on personal gain at the expense of others. Machiavellian individuals are experts at exploiting the Drama Triangle to their advantage, pulling the strings to ensure that the cycle of conflict and dependency spins ever on, to their benefit.

In practice, these individuals might:

  • Manipulate Relationships: They sow divisions, encouraging conflicts among colleagues to keep themselves in a position of power.
  • Exploit Vulnerabilities: They identify and prey on the weaknesses of others, whether it’s a colleague’s desire to help (Rescuer) or someone’s sense of injustice (Victim).
  • Deflect Blame: These individuals are masters at shifting responsibility onto others, making themselves appear blameless, or worse, the hero in a crisis they themselves have engineered.

Then there is the subtle art of triangulation—a manoeuvre that manipulates the narrative to suit the interests of those in power. These are the moments when leaders choose not to confront criticisms directly. Instead, they manipulate a team member into acting as the intermediary, conveying messages or demands on their behalf.  The leader, meanwhile, stays in the background, maintaining a carefully crafted image of detachment, while subtly steering the narrative to their advantage.

The executives we consulted were unanimous in their warning: if you find yourself in a workplace dominated by Machiavellian behaviour, don’t stick around. Such environments are the antithesis of a GREAT PLACE TO WORK. They foster mistrust, resentment, and a culture where survival takes precedence over collaboration and innovation.

The takeaway from these conversations is clear. Recognising toxic elements early is not just crucial—it’s essential for maintaining both your personal and professional integrity. In workplaces where success is measured by how effectively one can undermine others, there’s a real danger of absorbing these negative behaviours. Escaping these environments is more than just self-preservation; it’s about committing to the principles of respect, integrity, and authentic leadership that are the foundations of a GREAT PLACE TO WORK culture.

For young professionals, the ability to identify and steer clear of toxic workplaces—especially those characterised by manipulation and drama—is a crucial skill. It’s not just about safeguarding your career and mental health; it’s about thriving in environments that genuinely value growth, collaboration, and respect.

As we continue to develop resources to help young people navigate their careers, these insights will be at the heart of our advice and recommendations, ensuring that the next generation not only survives but thrives in a workplace culture that is truly great.

#WorkplaceCulture #ToxicWorkplaces #DramaTriangle #Machiavellianism #CareerAdvice #Leadership #CorporateCulture #EmployeeWellbeing #ProfessionalDevelopment #YoungProfessionals #WorkplaceSuccess #ThrivingAtWork #IntegrityInLeadership #GREATPLACETOWORK #WorkplaceWisdom