Over the past week, I’ve written about what it means to face hard truths as a community. I’ve spoken about the bravery of the two young men who came forward, and the importance of recognising harm even when it’s wrapped in charm, power, or public approval.
Today, I want to turn the lens inward. Because as Gareth Ward is taken into custody, many of us are left with quieter questions — about what we believed, who we supported, and how we respond when our assumptions are shaken.
We all know the spotlight is on our community right now. The media is asking the question out loud, how could we vote for someone under this kind of cloud? And maybe you’ve had friends from outside the area ask you the same thing. It’s uncomfortable, and it can feel personal. But most of us were voting for the version of the person we thought we knew. And now, we’re being asked to hold that discomfort, to reflect, and to work out where we go from here, together.
Some of my friends, people I care about deeply, were strong supporters of Gareth. I haven’t asked them how they feel now. Maybe they’re unsure. Maybe they’re not ready to talk. And maybe I don’t know how, or maybe I don’t want to start the conversation.
But here’s what I do know: empathy matters. And not just empathy for others, empathy for ourselves too. It’s okay to say we didn’t know. It’s okay to say we’ve changed our minds. And it’s okay to feel conflicted when someone who once seemed worthy of our support is revealed to have caused harm. No amount of charm, power, or public approval excuses abuse. And the courage to admit we got it wrong — that is a form of strength too.
We don’t always get it right. We don’t always see everything at once. Most of us are just doing the best we can with what we know at the time. And sometimes we learn more, and our thinking changes. That’s not weakness. That’s growth.
It’s okay to say, “I don’t know.”
It’s okay to say, “I used to think that, but I see it differently now.”
It’s okay to change your mind without feeling ashamed.
Most of us know someone who has experienced abuse or wrongdoing. And many of us have asked ourselves quietly, “What would I have done in their place?” I know I have and honestly, there are moments where I don’t know if I would have handled it any differently.
That’s why I think the way forward isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about being honest. It’s about giving ourselves, and each other, the space to reflect, to shift, and to keep learning.
We’re on the track. Let’s keep walking it, together.
BTW If you have a subscription to the SMH this is worthwhile read
He rots in jail for sex crimes, but this MP keeps his taxpayer-funded salary
#EmpathyMatters #LearningInPublic #ChangingMinds #MakingRoomForGrowth #CivicCourage #ReflectAndGrow #KiamaVoices #CommunityHealing
