At the Ignite event on 5 September at the Berry School of Arts, every speaker gave us something to think about. Over the next few weeks, I will be sharing highlights from each presentation. You can find the presentations as they are published here.
Jane Bourne returned to the stage for her second talk of the night, this time on a subject most of us would rather avoid: death and dying. She began with a smile and a reminder that while death and taxes are guaranteed, most of us would add laundry to that list too. Unlike laundry, though, death is rarely spoken about openly.
As a funeral celebrant, Jane has seen first-hand the heartache families face when they have no idea what their loved one wanted. Did they want to be buried or cremated? Did they want poems, prayers, or pop songs? Did they even want a funeral at all? Without conversations, grief is made heavier by uncertainty.
“Planning a good death leads to a much fuller and better life.”
Jane encouraged us to talk about death, not in whispers but in real conversations with family and friends. Planning ahead, she said, is not about being morbid. It is about giving a gift to those left behind. When people know your wishes, they do not have to carry the burden of doubt.
Her stories were both moving and funny. She spoke of fishing shirts at funerals, Morris dancers at a celebration of life, and even the time she was asked to say the words “glory hole” at a service. She shared how some families now choose “living funerals,” celebrating a person’s life while they are still here to hear the good things that will be said.
“A funeral should be as unique as the person it honours.”
Jane reminded us that there is no single “right way” to farewell someone. A funeral should be as unique as the person it honours. And she spoke about how planning a good death can actually lead to living a fuller life. Thinking about mortality helps us prioritise what matters, how we want to spend our time, and the stories we want to share.
Her closing thought was simple but profound. On average, we get 4,000 weeks and 77 summers in a lifetime. Some get far fewer. How we use them is what matters. Talking about death is, in the end, a way of talking about life.
“Talking about death is, in the end, a way of talking about life.”
#IgniteBerry #JaneBourne #TalkingAboutDeath #GoodDeath #CelebrationOfLife #LivingFunerals #YouOnlyDieOnce
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