This post is personal. Every now and then, I use my blog as a journal and I write something just for me. If something I’ve said lands with you and it helps, I’ll be grateful for that. If it does, please leave a comment.
I thought we were talking about land. History. Legacy. I thought we were having a conversation between two people who had both lived long enough to understand the weight of inheritance , and the ache of loss.
But somewhere between the conveyancing records and the development maps, something else entered the room. A quiet hierarchy. A tug-of-war over whose version mattered more. And every time I tried to bring in the human story , the people, the emotion, the cost, I was redirected back to documents, dates, deeds. Like that was the only kind of truth that counted.
And then came the part that hurt in a way I wasn’t expecting.
He said he had to get back to his grandchildren. He said it more than once.
And he knows. He knows that my story is different. That there are wounds in my life that have never closed properly. That I don’t have grandmother duties to return to.
He didn’t say anything unkind. But sometimes, it’s the absence of care that stings the most.
Because what I needed in that moment wasn’t data.
It wasn’t validation.
It was recognition, that standing here, trying to honour the past and speak for the future, I am doing it alone. And I am doing it anyway.
And that counts for something. Even if he couldn’t say it.
What I’ve come to realise is that even conversations that hurt can be useful. Writing this helped me move through it, but shaping those moments into fiction has been even more rewarding. The experience gave rise to a new character in my novel, a solicitor named Lionel Greaves, who represents the quiet power of institutional knowledge, and the harm it can cause when wielded without care.
Lionel Greaves is a man of standing in the community, respected for his memory and precision, but not always for his empathy. He trades in certainty, not sentiment. To him, law is order, not fairness. He rarely intends harm, but often causes it through his refusal to see the emotional consequences of his words. He believes he is helpful. He doesn’t realise he is also dismissive. And in doing so, he becomes a quiet antagonist, not through malice, but through omission.
#EmotionalLabour #LegacyAndLoss #PersonalTruth #InvisibleGrief #FamilyDynamics #Estrangement #HumanDignity #SpeakingFromTheHeart #GriefIsReal #HoldingSpace #QuietStrength