Still Coming to Terms With Gareth Ward? So Am I.

Over the past week, I’ve written about what it means to face hard truths as a community. I’ve spoken about the bravery of the two young men who came forward, and the importance of recognising harm even when it’s wrapped in charm, power, or public approval.

Today, I want to turn the lens inward. Because as Gareth Ward is taken into custody, many of us are left with quieter questions — about what we believed, who we supported, and how we respond when our assumptions are shaken.

We all know the spotlight is on our community right now. The media is asking the question out loud, how could we vote for someone under this kind of cloud? And maybe you’ve had friends from outside the area ask you the same thing. It’s uncomfortable, and it can feel personal. But most of us were voting for the version of the person we thought we knew. And now, we’re being asked to hold that discomfort, to reflect, and to work out where we go from here, together.

Some of my friends, people I care about deeply, were strong supporters of Gareth. I haven’t asked them how they feel now. Maybe they’re unsure. Maybe they’re not ready to talk. And maybe I don’t know how, or maybe I don’t want to start the conversation.

But here’s what I do know: empathy matters. And not just empathy for others, empathy for ourselves too. It’s okay to say we didn’t know. It’s okay to say we’ve changed our minds. And it’s okay to feel conflicted when someone who once seemed worthy of our support is revealed to have caused harm. No amount of charm, power, or public approval excuses abuse. And the courage to admit we got it wrong — that is a form of strength too.

We don’t always get it right. We don’t always see everything at once. Most of us are just doing the best we can with what we know at the time. And sometimes we learn more, and our thinking changes. That’s not weakness. That’s growth.

It’s okay to say, “I don’t know.”
It’s okay to say, “I used to think that, but I see it differently now.”
It’s okay to change your mind without feeling ashamed.

Most of us know someone who has experienced abuse or wrongdoing. And many of us have asked ourselves quietly, “What would I have done in their place?” I know I have and honestly, there are moments where I don’t know if I would have handled it any differently.

That’s why I think the way forward isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about being honest. It’s about giving ourselves, and each other, the space to reflect, to shift, and to keep learning.

We’re on the track. Let’s keep walking it, together.

BTW If you have a subscription to the SMH this is worthwhile read

He rots in jail for sex crimes, but this MP keeps his taxpayer-funded salary

#EmpathyMatters #LearningInPublic #ChangingMinds #MakingRoomForGrowth #CivicCourage #ReflectAndGrow #KiamaVoices #CommunityHealing

Gareth Ward – When Conviction Isn’t the End of the Story

Over the weekend, I was invited to contribute to someone else’s blog post. This afternoon, I found myself speaking live on ABC radio. The topic? Gareth Ward – our local member of Parliament who, despite facing serious sexual assault charges, was re-elected by the people of Kiama. And who, as of Friday, has now been found guilty.

On Wednesday, he will be sentenced.

And if he refuses to resign, our community may be represented by someone serving time in prison. Let that sink in.

Constitutional law expert Professor Anne Twomey explains on her YouTube channel that under changes to the state’s constitution in 2000, conviction is considered to mean “once you have reached the end of the appeals process, if you choose to appeal, and not had the conviction overturned”. (Those still in contact with Ward say he is defiant and will appeal.) Source

Both sides of Parliament have asked for his resignation. The media is circling, not because this is a quirky sideshow, but because they can’t quite believe it either: how did a man charged with these crimes manage to keep his seat?

I’ve asked myself the same thing. And to be honest, I still don’t know the full answer.

What I do know is that our community is split. Some people feel vindicated. Others feel betrayed. Many more just don’t want to talk about it. You hear it in the awkward pauses, someone mentions the conviction, another person offers an opinion, someone else disagrees  and then silence. Then a change of subject.

It’s a clear example of how hard we find it, as a community, to have difficult conversations. Not just online, but in everyday life.

And here’s what’s even harder  – accepting that someone who appeared to be dedicated, effective, and focused on outcomes for the community could also have been abusing their power in deeply harmful ways.

The dissonance isn’t about personal warmth. It’s about the contradiction between public competence and private conduct, and our tendency to overlook troubling behaviour if we think someone is “getting things done.”

That contradiction isn’t new. We’ve seen it in religious institutions, in Hollywood, in politics. And still, every time, it unsettles us. We want the world to be simpler than it is.

It reminds me of what we’ve seen in the United States,  where Donald Trump, despite multiple criminal charges, has been elected president not once, but twice. It’s bizarre, but it also says something about how loyalty works. Once people commit to a political figure, it often doesn’t matter what comes to light. The story becomes about defending a side rather than confronting the facts. And we’re seeing a version of that play out here too.

So now we find ourselves in this strange place. A man has been convicted of serious crimes, and some people still defend him. Others want to move on. Others want answers. And many of us, myself included, are wondering what we do next.

I don’t have easy answers. I do have a strong opinion. But I also know I can’t force it on anyone else.

So instead, I want to ask some questions:
How do we build a political culture that values integrity over popularity?
– Why do we ignore red flags when they come from people we think are delivering results?
– What kind of leadership do we deserve  and what do we tolerate instead?
– What would it take for our community to stop whispering and start talking?
– And perhaps most importantly: How do we move forward without brushing this under the carpet?

Because at the heart of this are two young men who had the courage to come forward. That cannot be forgotten.

The data is clear: only 13% of sexual assault cases are reported to police. Just 1.5% to 3% result in a conviction.

So, when a jury delivers a guilty verdict, it matters. It shows the system can work, and it gives others hope that they’ll be heard.

And then there’s the timeline. These men waited almost five years for this case to be resolved. That kind of delay is traumatic in itself, it shows how long justice can take, and why so many victims don’t come forward.

We may not all agree on what should happen next. But we can agree that the courage it took to speak up deserves to be acknowledged, and that justice, when it comes, must mean something.

The ABC closed our interview with a question: What would I like to see happen next?

My answer

When we have the by-election, I would like to see our community put aside their commitment to being lifelong Liberal supporters, or lifelong Labor supporters, or lifelong Greens supporters, and truly listen to what these candidates have to say. Investigate what they have done for their communities. And make a decision based on this question, does this person represent my values?

#GarethWard #KiamaVotes #CommunityAccountability #LeadershipMatters #PoliticalIntegrity #CivicCourage #PowerAndTruth #HardConversations #JusticeAndTrust

What If We Spent Our Coffee Money on the Country We Want?

Most of us don’t think twice about spending $7 on a coffee, or $14 if it’s two a week. It’s a small indulgence in a busy life. But what if we all chipped in that same amount and chose to spend it differently?

What if that coffee money could fund the kind of country we actually want to live in?

Turns out, it could go a long way.

💡 Just $7 a year could change lives

A recent study found that if the federal government boosted mental health spending by just $7.30 per adult per year, around $153 million in total,we could prevent:
– 313 suicides
– 1,954 hospitalisations for self-harm
– Over 28,000 emergency department visits for mental health reasons

That’s the impact of one coffee.

But what if we gave up one coffee a week, or two, and asked the same question across different areas of need?

☕ A coffee or a future? Here’s what that money could do

If every adult in Australia redirected $7 -$14 a week to shared priorities, it could add up to $1.5–$3 billion annually. Here’s where that could take us:

🏘️ Affordable Housing

  • Fund tens of thousands of new social or affordable homes
  • Support rent relief for low-income families
  • Keep people safe, secure, and off the streets

📚 Public Education

  • Hire more school counsellors and learning support staff
  • Lower class sizes for better learning
  • Fund early childhood education in underserved communities

🚑 Rural Health Care

  •  Boost GP, nurse and allied health access in rural areas
  • Fund mobile clinics and regional telehealth services
  • Improve outcomes where help is often hardest to reach

🌿 Climate & Environment

  • Support renewable energy projects in the regions
  • Plant millions of trees and regenerate degraded land
  • Fund water security and sustainable agriculture

👵 Aged Care

  • Increase staffing and pay in aged care homes
  • Improve home care options so older people can age in place
  • Make dignity a baseline, not a luxury

💬 What if we had a say?

Now imagine if we didn’t just guess where to spend it, we got to choose.

Picture a national system of participatory budgeting, where each adult gets a voice in how their share of “coffee money” is spent. The government sets out the priorities, and we vote.

It’s already happening in some communities around the world. Why not here?

We’re used to thinking of change as something big and distant. But sometimes, it starts with a small sacrifice,shared widely.

What could we build if we all gave up just a little?

I’m not a researcher, and these figures are estimates based on publicly available data. But the idea is simple: small individual choices, pooled together, can make a big collective impact.

Shout out to The Conversation for the original research and article that sparked this reflection. Their work continues to inform smart, hopeful conversations across the country.

#CoffeeMoney #SmallChangeBigImpact #MentalHealthMatters #ParticipatoryBudgeting #BetterSpending #InvestInCommunity #AffordableHousing #PublicEducation #ClimateAction #AgedCareReform #HealthEquity #AustraliaBudget #EveryDollarCounts #HopefulFuture #RedirectTheSpend